The Ides of March Came (…and Went)

We’ve made it halfway through March and it’s safe to say that things have been…adequate. I suppose I’ll take what I can get.

That being said, I’m now knee deep in Quota season. Who’s excited?

Will & Grace nbc will and grace burlesque megan mullally GIF (also pictured – my #excitementlevel)

I’ll be working weekends until further notice, which is fine actually, but puzzling. We’re down on cases and I’m mostly confused as to how or why there seems to be all of this extra work. Where is it coming from? How is it happening? Who isn’t doing their job? #whatmurderamiplanning

Oh well. I’ll take my overtime and keep my mouth shut.

I’ve also started therapy, which probably isn’t a bad idea. I did it mostly because of the events of February and the fact that Winter makes me a cranky and sad human being. I don’t know how to deal with cold that hurts me beyond…January. This is probably a bad thing considering I live in Michigan. We’re also going to discuss the fact that my job is…adequate. As is many things.

Here’s hoping to Spring – and things being less adequate and a whole lot better than adequate. Maybe even good.


February was the Worst Month

February was a dumpster fire of a month. (the upside to not writing in a timely fashion is that now dumpster fire is in the dictionary. Thanks Merriam Webster!)

 (Oh look. February)

It does seem that we didn’t (don’t currently?) have bedbugs, so that’s good. On the other hand, I got really ill towards the end of the month. My lady bits went and revolted against me, which was not so stellar. #killme I haven’t felt that horrible since high school and I had surgery to correct that nonsense. #endometroisis4lyfe
I spent a few weeks feeling absolutely miserable and on top of it all, I had to go to work and try to be productive.


Still no word back on jobs, but I have started taking up html in both my free time and at the office as apparently I’m going to be the resident website expert. And the resident WordPress expert. This means I guess I better write more and fuss with my site some more so I know what I’m doing.

Can I put “Somewhat proficient in wordpress/html/procrastinator” on a resume?

February. I Guess. If We Must.

To recap – still might have bedbugs? #unclear But I have been checking and there are no signs so far. I am going to make an appointment with like, Terminix or something soon. I was going to do it sooner, but I didn’t want to cause too many waves at my house. My mother hadn’t left for Australia yet (more on that in a minute) and it just wasn’t worth the hassle.

My mother is in Australia for the next few weeks and it’s fine by me. In fact, I’m totes jealous. I want to fuck off to Australia for three weeks and see everything. She’s been texting a lot and I told her to go have fun and not be on her phone. I think she got the hint and is now on vacation for real. She’ll text just to let us know she hasn’t been eaten by a dingo or something.

In the meantime, I’m still job hunting and it’s the absolute wooooooorst. Like. O.M.F.G why is it this bad. I think some of my ennui stems from the never-ending winter that just keeps coming.
(Yes, I know I live in Michigan and yes I know it’s only February. Come at me, bro. Winter is the worst and I just don’t care. I reserve the right to hate basically everything about it after Christmastime.)

(My current feelings)

I currently harbor an enormous sense of inadequacy because none of these places will hire me and it’s awful. I don’t know if I would feel quite this terrible if it wasn’t like, 15 degrees out and snowy and shit. I probably would but at least my face wouldn’t hurt because of the cold cold wind and being cooped up inside for days on end. I don’t entirely know how to snap out of it, but at least I know it’s February and things are (Jesus God I hope) coming to and end soon.

Winter is here and it can quit. As soon as I get a job, I, too, can quit.

Burn It Down

How do you know when to distance yourself from a friend? Or to break up with them completely? Part of my problem is that I don’t think that I can break up with up with him (per say). All of my friends are close friends with him and my fella is tight with him and I’m just going to have to stay away, if I can. It’s going to be hard. I don’t have a lot of friends in the area as it is. Once again, I’d be the odd (wo)man out.

However, it’s almost harder knowing that things have changed. Once upon a time we really were friends. But things have changed over the last 10+ years and maybe I’m just living in a dream world. It’s a genuine shame his girlfriend is fun. I wish there was a way to invite her without him and not have it be awkward. I don’t think that’s a thing, though.
How do you make friends as an adult? Can someone tell me?

In other news, one of my mother’s friends apparently has bedbugs. Since November. And she’s been here twice and she neglected to tell us. Part of me wants to give her the benefit of the doubt because she’s sick and has a crappy family and frankly, bedbugs can happen to anyone, but on the other hand – she neglected to tell us and now we might have bedbugs too #burnthehousedown. Mom, for whatever reason, isn’t that perturbed. Dad, on the other hand, is kinda pissed. I am also not too thrilled. The fella wants me to move in until all of this is settled. I don’t really know what to do. I’m just trying to avoid getting in trouble.

2018 is not off to a great start.

Dropped A Bomb

It’s been a bit of ride at work the last few days. We’re changing payroll companies and for some reason, it’s quite the trial. I know you have to fill out loads of paperwork when you hire in somewhere, but it seems that we’re filling out loads of stuff (and then some) all over again. And on top of it all – we have to do it all before the end of the day. You name it, we have to fill it out – health insurance forms, tax documents, I9’s and today was stuff about 401K things.

I don’t really like doing any of these things on a time crunch. It gives me major anxiety. Most of the people in the office seem perfectly content to fill out the forms without either A) reading them or B) they seem content to know that they’re filling them out wrong. I don’t like either of these answers. Especially in regards to my money and the fact that I have…basically none of it. So I spent most of my time sneaking off to the bathroom upstairs or to the hallway to whisper loudly and call my financial planner friend (I went to school with her son) and ask questions in a panic. She’s been a total life-saver and frankly, I owe her big-time for saving my ass.

It’s just exhausting feeling this stupid all the time. I really don’t like it. And then, on top of it, my fella drops the bomb that when we move it he’d like me to pay rent and save my money/pay my loans. I suppose it’s not that unreasonable of him, but for some reason it just caught me by surprise. I’m going to have to chew it over for a day or two before I talk it over with him in person because I know my temper and I’ll say something snotty that I don’t really mean. I can’t help but feel that it was a bomb on a bombed few days. Here’s hoping the rest of the week is better.

Here We Go Again

New Year, New…Me?

…Probably Not. But I do suppose that it’s the thought that counts. I can’t promise to write more, because I don’t like making promises that I can’t (or won’t) keep. But I will try.

About a month ago a friend of mine died and he was a writer. And while we never spoke of my sad, small, little blog I can safely say that he would tell me to write more. That practice makes perfect and that only way to get better is to do it more. He was a nice man and I didn’t know him terribly well, but he was nice and funny and it’s a shame he’s not here anymore.
So I’m going to try to do what I’m certain he would’ve told me.

On a lighter note (…of sorts) my job continues to be insane because I continue to be an immigration paralegal. I’m not sure how much else there is to say there because Il Ducino is in the White House and frankly, he’s awful. Quota season is coming and all a girl wants as a belated Christmas gift is a new job that doesn’t pay me in peanuts, but real money.
Le sigh.

I hope everyone had a nice holiday. Tonight is the Golden Globes and despite all the rape and sexual assault running around Hollywood, I’m totes watching. I like looking at the pretty dresses and yelling at the TV when the wrong* movie/tv show wins. I think it’s fun.


*when I say wrong I mean a movie/tv show I haven’t seen or one I don’t watch or one I consider to have one too many awards. I love me an underdog. Too much of a sports fan, I suppose.

Once again I spent the weekend (a bit longer, really), traveling. The fella and I went to North Carolina for five days to visit friends and meet his dad (for me. Clearly he has met his father before)

We drove down on a Friday morning. I have never, honestly, been in a car for that long. I had been looking forward to the trip, but I was also nervous. Despite dating for so long, we’ve never really been away on a vacation together. The prospect made me a bit anxious. And being cooped up in a car for approximately 12 hours with anyone could drive a girl to madness, if you ask me, especially considering that most of that drive is through Ohio.
And Ohio is super boring. #norly
It’s a state that just keeps on going. Andy has issues with it because it’s flat and I have issues with it because it’s so…big. And uninteresting. And big.
(Did I mention it’s big?)

At about 6.30pm-ish we got to Raleigh and to our hotel, which was rather nice. We had a great dinner at this place called Picnic with Andy’s friends – who were very nice – and recommended the place. They also drove. We hung out with them until quite late and passed out in our hotel room.

The next day we went to the North Carolina Museum of Art and I felt a total pang of jealousy for not living there. While the DIA is amazing, the amount of outdoor things they could schedule because it never really gets cold made me totes jealous. They also had a nice collection of art. We walked around the sculpture garden and got suitably sweaty before dinner with our friend from high school, who moved down there to start a PhD program at UNC. Once again, dinner was a great bbq place (The Pit) and I was a content person. I spend a lot of time thinking about pork. So far, North Carolina was holding up their end of the deal.

They were a lot bigger than expected, which was great. We spent hours there walking through and looking at all sorts of plants. I took photos with my relic of a black and white film camera. I’m not even sure it still works, but I guess we’ll find out?

After that, Andy and I went and toured a plantation house, which I didn’t even think to get a photo of. It was pretty hot by then and despite the tour being fascinating and the house being really interesting (and in turn, I learned some things about my own antebellum built home), I was getting tired. So, what does this mean?
Dinner. At an amazing Mexican place, Gonza. The tacos I had were to die for. A bit of fish and pork? #dying

Sadly, we had to leave the area Monday morning and head over to Asheville. Asheville is mountainous and gorgeous. We also had a cooldown in weather, which was a change of pace. We stayed with Andy’s dad and his stepmom, on their property. They have a camper that we slept in.
It’s safe to say I’m not that keen on campers. It was a nice camper just…small.

We went to the Biltmore on Tuesday and it. is. stunning. We spent nearly the whole day there. I once again didn’t take nearly enough photos, either with my camera or my phone. Vanderbilt sure knew what he was doing when he hired all those people to design it.


On a whole though, Asheville didn’t appeal to me much. I was happy to come home, which is unusual for me. I can’t even say I was super excited about the food I ate.

I am, though, planning trips for 2018. In the meantime, it’s work work work. #ew